How does God See Me?

John 1:12

I am a child of God

1 Peter 2:9

I am a part of a royal lineage

Romans 8:35-39

I am loved by God and nothing can separate me from His love

I am a conqueror

Ephesians 1:4

I am chosen by God

Colossians 2:13-14

I am forgiven and my sin/debt has been paid in full

Philippians 4:13

I am strengthened for all tasks to which God calls me

John 14:16

I have the Holy Spirit in me

Romans 5:1

I have peace with God through Jesus

Hebrew 13:5

I am never alone; God will not leave me

Romans 5:1

I am justified

Romans 8:1

I am free from condemnation

2 Corinthians 1:21-22

I am established, anointed, sealed by God

Philippians 1:6

I am confident that God will complete a good work in me

John 4:24

I am a truth worshiper

2 Corinthians 5:17

I am a new creation!

Mark 16:17-18

I have the ability to perform miracles

Ephesians 3:12

I have the ability to approach God with freedom and confidence

Ephesians 1:11-12

I am blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven

Colossians 1:13

I am delivered from dark powers

Hebrews 13:6

I am safe

1 Peter 5:10

I am strong

Song of Solomon 4:10

I am beautiful

1 Peter 2:24

I am healed

What other identity promises can we claim?

“I believe in Christ, like I believe in the sun- Not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else.” -CS Lewis

As a little exercise, look up these verses and take some quiet time to pray and ask God what He wants to reveal to you about yourself. Write down 10 or so things that He loves about you. Then do the same with the ways He would use to describe you. You will be surprised at what He tells you compared to how you actually feel.

This week, I sent a video out to the members of my business (I own a fitness club) and told them they just had to watch it. While I'm normally against any sort of forward or stupid youtube video, I felt pretty overwhelmed with the emotion of this one. So while this has nothing to do with our identity in Christ, it makes a very valid point about perspective and how often, the way we see ourselves is not our true identity:

Dove Real Beauty Sketches

more on this later...

Friends, Fellowship and Forgiveness

Wow. It's been just a little over a year since I began this crazy journey. It's amazing how life never ends up the way you imagined it would. So here we are, a year later, and a completely abandoned plan. The first thing I thought when my blog crossed my mind today was that no one has questioned me, no one has encouraged me to keep going, and basically, no one would know.

Overcoming difficult circumstances seems to have become the trend in my life. I spent the majority of 2012 living with my aunt and getting upset about things out of my control. I began 2012 with the yearning to humble myself by ridding my life of excess in order to become more Christ-like and gain a better understanding of who He is. Two months in, I quit when I was suddenly without anywhere to live...but God kept working. Funny how He does that. Instead of continuing my crazy year long fast, I was instantly without most of my possessions and living on a mattress on the floor. All simply because we didn't find a house to buy by the time we had to leave the other one.

In September, I found a great little house, bought it, and moved in with a month to prepare to host Christmas. (hosting and Christmas are 2 of my favorite things!) So in the end, God quickened to me the same lesson I was trying to reach on my own; but He did it in His own way. Instead of me being in control of my story, God gave me the perfect opportunity to put 100% of my trust in Him, because there was no other way to go. And then he gave me an incredible blessing for my obedience... in spite of my grumbling! I started last year by posting this verse: 2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness." Boy wasn't that made 100% clear to me last year.

My friends Heidi and Sam began 2013 in a time of fasting; much like I began last year. But it wasn't until my lunch with them this week did I realize that I still have a desire to complete the task I started. Both Heidi and I are in a similar state of "blooming" is what we called it. She is anxiously awaiting the birth of her son at home, except she thought she would be working by now. I am at a professional crossroads with no direction once more.

This morning, Pastor Jamey talked about prophetic words over our lives. It's interesting to hear how people react to a prophesy. Some people will take it and hold on for dear life. Some people will disregard it unless it happens to come to fruition. And some people just laugh at the idea of prophesy. Did you ever consider, and this is the profound part, that the prophesy could be true but our lives aren't ready to receive it? He made an analogy about farming: In the fall after the harvest, farmers will till their soil to allow the left over pieces of plants give nutrition to the soil. After the ground has thawed, they sow their seed. But if they hadn't prepared the ground months and months before, the seed would never produce a usable crop. woah.

I've naively never considered that I might be the problem when things spoken over my life don't happen. I always believed it would all happen in "God's Timing" but could it be that my heart has not been prepared to produce a successful crop. The seed has been sown, but it's time to till the soil.

So if I still have a great desire to fast in order to seek God and "till the soil" then here I go.

Details this week.

What is enough?

A little over a month ago, I spent some time-off in London with my best friend, her sister and brother-in-law. It's a gorgeous city full of history, a melting-pot of culture, and the odd drunkard that stumbles across your path in the middle of the day. The city is well educated and many people are very well off. I wasn't doing missions helping the poor; this is a first world country. So why did I leave with such a desire to stay there and a completely changed view of how we live in America?

Chris and Sarah live in a small-by-American-standards flat above a hairdresser in Greenwich. Greenwich is a 20 minute commute to London Bridge or London Cannon Street, which is then another 30 minute or more commute by tube wherever else you want to go. Chris and Sarah have one bedroom, a second bedroom that serves their couch and tv, and a typical European kitchen with a bathroom off the one end of it. It's tight, and it's smaller than all of my friend's apartments in the States, but it's got this amazing character and homeyness that you fall in love with immediately. Any typical American would walk in and immediately judge the size and layout and wonder how they function in such a small space (thank you HGTV). But truthfully, the four of us functioned pretty well for the week.

I've been blessed with never having more than a 10 minute commute to work, never having to wonder where I will sleep or where I will fit all the crap I own, and never wondering what I will do if the tube is delayed and I miss the last train back home. All of these things were challenges we had to prepare for every day in London. I am aware that being tourists in London is pretty low on the list of eye-opening experiences, but being out of your own culture in anyway can trigger your mind to contemplate your own circumstances.

I didn't come from a wealthy family, but I have more clothes than I can wear in a month, food in my fridge, a car and gas for it, health insurance, and all the bells and whistles that comes with life as an American. I became a business owner at 23 and I've worked really hard to get where I am today, which I suppose you can joke with me and call it the American Dream. But then, why do I still feel like it's not enough? What is enough? Don't get me wrong, and ask anyone who knows me, I am not a shopaholic or high maintenance, but that doesn't mean I can't struggle with emotions that all of us have at one point or another. My question is what am I going to do about them.

Not too long after coming home from London, my world was turned upside down in a housing issue that was beyond my control. As I'm in the process of purchasing my first home (yay!), I am biding my time on the couches of friends and family who generously put up with an extra person in their home. In the midst of this chaos, I had dinner with some new friends who had just finished a book called 7: An Eperimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. They had me over for a great ham and sweet potato dinner and then explained why the food was what it was...which I never questioned in the first place...but I am grateful that they shared their experience. (here is her blog about their family's journey)

This is a good explanation of the book straight from Jen Hatmaker's blog:

God, if too much stuff is standing in the way of your kingdom coming in our lives, then help us break up with it. If it has stolen our allegiance and hijacked our obedience, give us the courage to wage war against everything that is ruining us for your gospel, substituting comfort for bravery, acquiring for sharing, appearances for obedience, personal glory for worship.

A seven-month experimental mutiny against excess, tackling seven areas of over-consumption in the spirit of a fast; a fast from greed, irresponsibility, apathy, and insatiability. Each area boiled down to just seven choices for a month:

Food.
Clothes.
Possessions.
Media.
Waste.
Spending.
Stress.

Only seven foods for a month. Only seven pieces of clothes for a month. Give away seven things we own a day for a month. Eliminate seven forms of media for a month. Adopt seven substantial habits for a greener life. Spend money in only seven places. Practice "seven sacred pauses" a day and observe the Sabbath...a deeply reduced life to find a greatly increased God.

It's all kind of come together for me. I have too much. I waste too much time. I spend too much. But of course I can not be fulfilled with things, I know this. I am a go-getter and I enjoy being in charge. So this breeds the feelings of inadequacy when I can't meet my own needs which then can only lead to two conclusions: will I depend on God for all the things I need, or will I try everything in my own power to provide them for myself? 

So all of that to say, this is MY experimental mutiny against excess in order to re-prioritize my life, put first things first, and grow my relationship with God to a level that I depend on Him more than myself.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So here I am Lord, purposefully being weak so that I can learn to have YOU as my strength.

I will be done with the book in the next couple days and I will begin the first month of mutiny next Monday!