What is enough?

A little over a month ago, I spent some time-off in London with my best friend, her sister and brother-in-law. It's a gorgeous city full of history, a melting-pot of culture, and the odd drunkard that stumbles across your path in the middle of the day. The city is well educated and many people are very well off. I wasn't doing missions helping the poor; this is a first world country. So why did I leave with such a desire to stay there and a completely changed view of how we live in America?

Chris and Sarah live in a small-by-American-standards flat above a hairdresser in Greenwich. Greenwich is a 20 minute commute to London Bridge or London Cannon Street, which is then another 30 minute or more commute by tube wherever else you want to go. Chris and Sarah have one bedroom, a second bedroom that serves their couch and tv, and a typical European kitchen with a bathroom off the one end of it. It's tight, and it's smaller than all of my friend's apartments in the States, but it's got this amazing character and homeyness that you fall in love with immediately. Any typical American would walk in and immediately judge the size and layout and wonder how they function in such a small space (thank you HGTV). But truthfully, the four of us functioned pretty well for the week.

I've been blessed with never having more than a 10 minute commute to work, never having to wonder where I will sleep or where I will fit all the crap I own, and never wondering what I will do if the tube is delayed and I miss the last train back home. All of these things were challenges we had to prepare for every day in London. I am aware that being tourists in London is pretty low on the list of eye-opening experiences, but being out of your own culture in anyway can trigger your mind to contemplate your own circumstances.

I didn't come from a wealthy family, but I have more clothes than I can wear in a month, food in my fridge, a car and gas for it, health insurance, and all the bells and whistles that comes with life as an American. I became a business owner at 23 and I've worked really hard to get where I am today, which I suppose you can joke with me and call it the American Dream. But then, why do I still feel like it's not enough? What is enough? Don't get me wrong, and ask anyone who knows me, I am not a shopaholic or high maintenance, but that doesn't mean I can't struggle with emotions that all of us have at one point or another. My question is what am I going to do about them.

Not too long after coming home from London, my world was turned upside down in a housing issue that was beyond my control. As I'm in the process of purchasing my first home (yay!), I am biding my time on the couches of friends and family who generously put up with an extra person in their home. In the midst of this chaos, I had dinner with some new friends who had just finished a book called 7: An Eperimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. They had me over for a great ham and sweet potato dinner and then explained why the food was what it was...which I never questioned in the first place...but I am grateful that they shared their experience. (here is her blog about their family's journey)

This is a good explanation of the book straight from Jen Hatmaker's blog:

God, if too much stuff is standing in the way of your kingdom coming in our lives, then help us break up with it. If it has stolen our allegiance and hijacked our obedience, give us the courage to wage war against everything that is ruining us for your gospel, substituting comfort for bravery, acquiring for sharing, appearances for obedience, personal glory for worship.

A seven-month experimental mutiny against excess, tackling seven areas of over-consumption in the spirit of a fast; a fast from greed, irresponsibility, apathy, and insatiability. Each area boiled down to just seven choices for a month:

Food.
Clothes.
Possessions.
Media.
Waste.
Spending.
Stress.

Only seven foods for a month. Only seven pieces of clothes for a month. Give away seven things we own a day for a month. Eliminate seven forms of media for a month. Adopt seven substantial habits for a greener life. Spend money in only seven places. Practice "seven sacred pauses" a day and observe the Sabbath...a deeply reduced life to find a greatly increased God.

It's all kind of come together for me. I have too much. I waste too much time. I spend too much. But of course I can not be fulfilled with things, I know this. I am a go-getter and I enjoy being in charge. So this breeds the feelings of inadequacy when I can't meet my own needs which then can only lead to two conclusions: will I depend on God for all the things I need, or will I try everything in my own power to provide them for myself? 

So all of that to say, this is MY experimental mutiny against excess in order to re-prioritize my life, put first things first, and grow my relationship with God to a level that I depend on Him more than myself.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So here I am Lord, purposefully being weak so that I can learn to have YOU as my strength.

I will be done with the book in the next couple days and I will begin the first month of mutiny next Monday!